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Ice Cream Fakery

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Ice Cream Fakery

A couple of months ago, I was scooping myself a bowl of ice cream, when I discovered something interesting and a little disturbing: Nowhere on the label did the ice cream describe itself as “ice cream.”

The label was for Breyers, a brand that has a long, lengthy history in the ice cream manufacturing game and a pledge to use “high quality ingredients.” But this pledge had been put into doubt by the fact that Breyers couldn’t describe what it was selling as ice cream, but rather “frozen dairy dessert.”

So, what’s the deal? The website Brand Eating explained the whole issue back in 2015. Basically, some of Breyers’ flavors fail to meet a basic criteria for ice cream set by the U.S. Department of Agriculture: One, that the dessert is make up of 10 percent milkfat, and that the ice cream has an overrun of 100 percent or less—that is, the ice cream shouldn’t be mostly made of more than 50 percent air bubbles after it’s whipped.

As for why they’d do something like this, New York Times writer Dan Barry got an explanation from Unilever, the company that owns the brand, a couple of years ago.

“People really drove that decision,” Nick Soukas, the company’s onetime director of ice cream, told Barry. That is, according to the company’s research, people wanted a smoother texture than what you can get with normal ice cream. Hence, that’s how we get “frozen dairy dessert.”

(Soukas has since moved on to be in charge of skin cleansing for the company, which sorta makes sense based on this decision.)

So why did Breyers fall out of “ice cream” contention? Well, this clip linked in the Times piece points out two issues: The length of the ingredient list, which includes a lot of extra preservatives, and (because it was left out overnight) the literal deflation of the ice cream.

Despite the fact it had basically been untouched the night before, it was taking up roughly half the package now—because all the air had fluttered out. It’s sort of depressing to think about.

Looks like I’ll be sticking with Klondike Bars—also made by Unilever.

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jad
7 days ago
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Rockville, MD
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Washington Governor, Attorney General Propose Abolishing Death Penalty

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by Heidi Groover

While I’m governor, there will not be a state sanctioned execution of a Washington State citizen, says Governor Jay Inslee.
"While I’m governor, there will not be a state sanctioned execution of a Washington State citizen," says Governor Jay Inslee. Office of Governor Jay Inslee

With hopes that new Republican support will help push the question to a vote this year, Washington Governor Jay Inslee and Attorney General Bob Ferguson are proposing legislation to abolish the death penalty in Washington State.

"The evidence is absolutely clear that death penalty sentences are unequally applied, they are frequently overturned, and they are always costly," Inslee said at a press conference announcing the proposal today.

If passed, the bill would outlaw the death penalty in the state and replace it with a life sentence without the possibility of parole. It would not retroactively affect prisoners who are already on death row in Washington.

Capital punishment is still legal on the books of 31 states, including Washington. But in 2014, Inslee imposed a moratorium on executions in Washington, which he has promised to uphold as long as he is governor. If this bill passes, future executions would not be allowed but a future governor could theoretically undo Inslee's moratorium in order to allow executions of people who were already on death row.

Ferguson said six other states from both ends of the political spectrum have held legislative votes on the death penalty in the last 10 years. "It's time for the Washington State Legislature here to take that vote," he said.

A bipartisan group of state legislators—Reuven Carlyle (D-Seattle), Jaime Pedersen (D-Seattle), Mark Miloscia (R-Federal Way), Maureen Walsh (R-Walla Walla), Tina Orwall (D-Des Moines)—stood alongside Inslee and Ferguson in support of the bill. So did Rob McKenna, the former Republican state attorney general, who lost to Inslee in the 2012 race for governor.

McKenna emphasized the cost and burden of death penalty cases that drag on and on. "Justice is delayed and delayed to the point where the system is broken," he said. "It isn't working."

Miloscia cited his Catholic faith ("How do we show mercy to our enemies?") and Walsh said, "It's the fiscal conservative in me" that's led to her opposition to the death penalty. Miloscia said McKenna's support will help take the conversation, which has repeatedly failed to gain traction in Olympia, to "a different level." In recent years, state lawmakers have proposed similar legislation but have been unable to get a full legislative vote on the proposal.

Lawmakers are still gathering co-sponsors for the bill, Miloscia said, and it will be "dropped very soon." To pass, this bill will need hearings in the Law and Justice Committee of the Republican-controlled state senate and the Judiciary Committee of the Democratic-controlled state house.

According to the Associated Press's Rachel La Corte, Washington has executed 78 people, all men, since 1904.

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jad
7 days ago
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Rockville, MD
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yearnout

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20170112_yearn

don’t risk pulling something, you gotta warm up first. read a couple “only 90s kids will remember” articles before you start in on any heavy duty wistfulness

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jad
11 days ago
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Rockville, MD
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Buffy the Psych Prof: Someone You Should Follow On Twitter

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by Dan Savage

Another epic Twitter thread/Arrival review that's worth your time...

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jad
19 days ago
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Rockville, MD
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Half of the time we’re gone

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Version 2

I used to watch this show, My 600 Pound Life

Version 2

It was about morbidly obese people, how they had bariatric surgery to lose weight, what happened to them afterward.

Version 2

There was a woman who was so overweight she couldn’t walk. She had to ride around in one of those scooters. The show followed her around the grocery store as random people told her she was disgusting.

Version 2

Finally she had a gastric bypass. The weight fell off. After a few years, she was down to 150 pounds.

Version 2

She had a whole new life. She was coaching little league, making friends, joining book clubs, catching up on all the socializing she had missed out on for decades.

Version 2

Before, she was housebound. After, she could barely stay indoors for a few hours.

Version 2

Her husband had been with her through everything: The weight, then its disappearance. He could tell she still carried around the old person she was.

Version 2

“She still turns sideways when she walks through doors,” he said.

Version 2

In November I moved to Seattle. My hometown, my home country, my first time living here since 2005.

Version 2

There were no logical reasons for me to do this, only personal ones. Friends. Family. A general restlessness I can never find the noun for.

Version 2

I always agonize over these Big Life Decisions, always get regretful and nostalgic immediately after making them.

Version 2

Then, slowly, I acclimate. Like getting over a breakup or leaving a job, eventually I get used to the new normal I have chosen. I stop weighing it against the one I have left.

Version 2

Everyone knows Christian Doppler was the guy who discovered the Doppler Effect, that thing where soundwaves bunch up when they come from a moving object, the eeeeEEEEEoooo you hear when an ambulance goes by.

Version 2

What I didn’t know until recently was that Doppler discovered his effect before anyone had ever heard it. It was 1842, nothing had ever gone 50 miles an hour, no one could stand there to notice the change in pitch.

Version 2

Doppler, through sheer intelligence, described something that the world eventually proved real.

Version 2

In my head, this is how smart people, real live adults, make decisions. You think and you study and you make blueprints for the future and then when it happens you’ve already explained it.

Version 2

In 1781, after they discovered Uranus, astronomers got more accurate predictions for the rest of the solar system. The new planet’s gravity pulled everything in its direction. Astronomers could stare up into the sky and know, months in advance, where they would find Mars and Mercury and Venus.

Version 2

Or at least, they should have. Once they started looking, they realized that all the planets were just a tiny bit off from where they should be.

Version 2

The only thing that could explain it was yet another planet, even farther out.

Version 2

For years, scientists back-calculated where, and how big, the new planet should be. When they were finished, they pointed their telescopes where the calculations told them and there it was. They called it Neptune.

Version 2

I think I find these stories so appealing because they imply that there’s something objective about the world, discoverable, that all I have to do is think hard enough, crunch all the numbers, and the answer will be obvious.

Version 2

But of course that’s not true. No matter how hard you look into the future, you still bring yourself into it with you.

Version 2

These are all random photos of Berlin I took over the years.

Version 2

Out a bus window, taking a morning jog, biking home. Dismount, snap, continue.

Version 2

I miss it already. It is big and empty and strange and sad, full now with my own history and even fuller with its own.

Version 2

My new life, the new normal I’ve chosen, isn’t waiting to be discovered, it’s something I’ll have to invent.

Version 2

I can already feel myself adjusting, old memories getting taped over with new habits, concerns, people.

Version 2

Everything I left here becoming, eventually, just one of the ways I still turn sideways.

 
































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jad
19 days ago
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Rockville, MD
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prokopetz: invisiblemelonmoose: prokopetz: invisiblemelonmoose: spader7: medievalpoc: prokopetz:...

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prokopetz:

invisiblemelonmoose:

prokopetz:

invisiblemelonmoose:

spader7:

medievalpoc:

prokopetz:

Consider:

  • Victorian England: 1837-1901
  • American Old West: 1803-1912
  • Meiji Restoration: 1868-1912
  • French privateering in the Gulf of Mexico: ended circa 1830

Conclusion: an adventuring party consisting of a Victorian gentleman thief, an Old West gunslinger, a disgraced former samurai, and an elderly French pirate is actually 100% historically plausible.

It really just comes down to whether a given individual or group is looking for reasons to include, or reasons to exclude. Hypothetical groups like these can go a lot further than this, too.

OK I WANT THIS REALLY BAD SO I MADE THIS REALLY QUICK

As much as I absolutely adore this, you’d probably have to come up with a fairly good reason for them to all meet up together in the first place. I mean, MLK and Anne Frank were born in the same year, but they lived on different continents and had no opportunity to meet. I’m not saying these cross cultural interactions are impossible, but choosing a certain region with an era isn’t necessarily exclusionary. It just doesn’t occur to people (or rather most writers in general) how well these eras matched up or how to connect these extremely varied backgrounds.

just make it a fighting game and ur good tho

I didn’t pick those roles at random, mind. All four of them are outlaws of some description, and thus have incentive to travel outside their native range - and in particular, all four of them would have any number of plausible excuses for ending up in San Francisco during the late 1860s or early 1870s. Once you’ve got them within shouting distance of each other, getting them in the same adventuring party is a simple matter of Plot.

I feel dumb for not picking up on that. :B I’d definitely be curious to know just what kind of hijinx they’d be getting themselves into (I can already imagine an Ocean’s Eleven-esque heist).

Out of curiosity, why San Fran? I’m a west coaster myself, but I usually picture New York when it comes to historical fiction.

1. San Francisco in the early 1870s is both very prosperous and a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

2. It’s more plausible for a vaquero and a ronin samurai to meet there by chance - New York is on the wrong coast entirely for that.

3. Emperor Norton.

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jad
22 days ago
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Rockville, MD
bibliogrrl
23 days ago
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Chicago!
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